Are you Stuck?
Is your head full of repeat negative thoughts?
Do you feel the worlds racing past and you're not inline with it?
Are you dieting but can't lose weight?

Feeling stuck isn't uncommon.  Many people will feel at some time in their lives stuck fast, in a rut, or going nowhere.  They will feel they can't change their circumstances and there's no way forward.

The truth is this is a self inflicted condition.  We have chosen to be stuck.  We have chosen not to move on. We have chosen to stay in an abusive relationship.  We have chosen our drudge of a job.We have chosen to overeat. We have chosen not to ring our friends and interact with people.  The list goes on.  We then blame other things, people and circumstances for those choices.  Tough talking I know, but by being tough you can change those circumstances.

This goes with weight gain as well.  Bearing in mind only between 5 - 10% of the population have a condition which causes weight gain, this demonstrates that the other 90% have chosen to eat too much, or chosen not to exercise.  So when someone says 'I diet but I can't lose weight' thats exactly what they will do - They wont lose weight as that is what they have chosen.

By changing your personal mantra in life you can change how you live and how you feel.  But this re-programming takes time and skill.  The habits of a lifetime afterall have become your friend and what you know.

Counselling or CBT will help you reprogramme and reboot your thinking and how you approach situations.  It will enable you to re-steer, stop the negative conversations you have with yourself, and help you build strong and robust self decisions.

Caroline Aby will listen to your circumstances and then steer you through how to make the changes.

#Counselling#Depression#Insomnia#Change#Faversham#Kent

I was reminded this week when thinking about going for a jog (note the thinking about I didn't actually get out the door!) how important it is to invest in people and our relationships.

I was always a good short distance runner in my teens but when it came to the long races I was terrible! As a counsellor relationships in my experience are not 100m races but long marathons that have highs and lows. Often it feels as though we have to put a lot of energy into our relationships and we don't always received the benefits we require immediately. As I am the sort of person that wants every thing done yesterday it has been a hard lesson as a counsellor that I cannot just 'fix' the person and move on to the next. I have to play the long game. This requires me to be patient, listen, not push my expectations on others and to trust in the process that person is going through. I have often been plagued by self doubt such as 'am I doing enough'? 'am I giving this person what they have come to me for?' 'Do I need to try harder' The answer to these things is the same and that is to build a relationship and play the long game! Counselling without relationship is pointless. It takes time and energy to build that rapport, trust, affection and see breakthrough in peoples lives. As a counsellor working in private practice often the biggest problem is people not being willing to invest their money in themselves i.e. their mental and emotional wellbeing. We are so programmed to just 'get on with it' and then we wonder why we are suffering emotionally because there is no outlet for this part of ourselves. People are often surprised that in order to explore deeper work they need to see me for a good few months sometimes longer. I understand that this is a big financial commitment and I don't pretend that it is not a sacrifice, however the freedom that it can bring people is truly life changing and such a privilege for me to witness and be part of. 

Investing is others or ourselves is a choice and can feel difficult at times, maybe someone you love is struggling to let you in? or perhaps someone you love is hurting and you don't know how to 'help them, maybe you are suffering emotionally and don't know how to come into freedom? Remember play the long game and be kind to yourself and other around you. 

Often people want a deep meaning relationship without putting the effort in! We all deserve to have deep fulling connections with ourselves and other's however we have a responsibility to make the time to run together.

If you or anyone you know is interested in counselling for any issue please see my website for more details www.honeysettcounselling.co.uk

#Depression #Counselling #Faversham #Anxiety #Stress #Counsellor

I get asked this question a great deal, so it made sense to write an explanation for you:
 
Counselling is a one to one opportunity, over either short or long term periods, to help you bring about effective change or enhance your wellbeing.

My role as the counsellor is to support and enable you to explore your thoughts, feelings and behaviours by talking openly and freely. All information shared between us remains strictly confidential (unless somone is at risk of harm) to ensure that a strong, trusting, safe relationship can be built between us.

My belief when working with all clients is to be non judgemental, genuine and empathic with who you are and what you are experiencing in your life.